By the numbers

It's 10 o'clock on Monday night and I can't be bothered to post pictures and whatnot in order to regale you with. I don't feel like working on anything and my brain just feels blah. So,

1- The number of new nieces I have recently acquired in the past week. The poor thing's been nicknamed 'Izzy-Butt' for a few months now. Her life's gonna be hell for sure.

2- Months until I get to meet aforementioned niece. Hopefully she is out of the gooey pink alien stage by then.

3- Inches of solid paper I need to grade and input into the gradebook.

78- The number of kids I have approximately 3 weeks to prepare for a buttload of external exams. (I'm thinking that a buttload should be assigned a number so it can be quantified. Something like how a dozen is 12 or a mole is 6.022 x 10^23 of something. Just a thought.)

3-4 - The number of comics from Mike's latest shipment that I manage to read per day. (Thanks for keeping me a nerd.)

0- Number of new, bad chemistry jokes I've managed to find lately. We were doing functional groups in AP chem today and I told one of the girls to name the following: Bunny - O - Bunny. She didn't get it. It took a few minutes before someone shouted out "Ether Bunny!" There were a few chuckles, more groans, and one girl pipes up to say (in all seriousness), "No! It should be Dibunny Ether!" Then I just got a bunch of complaints for a stupid joke. Sometimes I think I'm teaching soulless robots with no senses of humor. *sigh*

10 - The grade that still appreciate a good, lame chemistry joke. A proton walks into a pub and sits down promptly at the bar and orders a double whiskey, straight, no ice. The bartender obliges and notices the dark rings around the protons eyes. His clothes are shabby, as if they haven't been changed in days, his face is lined with worry and strain. He smells of booze and may have even soiled himself. With pity the bartender asks him what's the matter. After drawing in a long breath and exhaling a woeful sigh the proton replies, "Well, it all started a few days ago when I lost my electron..." The bartender, in a moment of exasperation and surprise, interrupts the proton, "Whoa, whoa, whoa that's pretty heavy stuff buddy! An electron?! Are you sure?!" "Yeah," says the proton, "I'm positive."






Ba dum dum

Two muffins are in an oven. One exclaims, "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here." To which the other replies, "Ah! A talking muffin!"

The final quarter started this week. I'm exhausted already. Definitely needed a longer break. Oh well, I have a new box of comics thanks to Mike and it makes for some nice relaxation.

We had parent teacher conferences on Tuesday. It's probably the one day all semester I dread the most. The parents of good students are easy to talk to. Just tell them the kid is doing great and is a wonderful student to have and they'll go merrily on their way. It's figuring out how to tactfully tell some parents that their children are little twerps that puts me on edge. I made it through the day without any parents screaming at me so I'll count it as a success. At lunch I was sitting with the parents of one of my advisees and was chatting with the father. He eventually asked me where I was from and I said 'Four hours from Chicago' like I usually do. He then asked what state and I of course replied 'Illinois.' He then proceeded to tell me that he did his undergrad work in Illinois. It was some little hole of a town named Jacksonville. He went to Mac many moons ago and we were able to bond over the little about the town that he still remembered. I think Woodstock has made more odd connections like this than I can shake a bag of chips at (and believe me, I'm a good chip bag shaker).

In other news, I finally heard back from the jamboree selection committee today. I have been accepted to work in the international hosting division. What exactly, I don't know yet. There are three subdivisions so I can either be doing activities, grunt work (picking int'ls up at the airport etc.), or a sort of commissioner. I'm sure I'll find out in due time. I'm just really excited b/c I love working with international people and this jamboree is during the 100th year of BSA so it's being really hyped up. Dad's going too but he's doing some shooting sports stuff so I doubt we'll see much of each other.

3 quarters down

For as much crap as I gave Becky for not updating her blog I suppose I should at least try to do the same for you, my adoring audience.

Currently, we are in the final week of the third quarter. Break starts on Thursday after a shortened schedule. I am going to Haridwar and Rajaji with one of the dorm parents. We're taking a group of boys with us to get them away for a few days. He's planned it so I really don't know what we're doing or anything so it should be fun. I'll be sure and take lots of pictures to share. We'll be coming back on Easter.

Speaking of Easter, we had our Easter chapel this past Sunday. We had it early so that people could be gone on their break and not have to come back to school early. I was lucky enough to be selected as a dancer for a portion of it. It mainly consisted of me walking up to the stage with a third grader, twirling a ribbon, marching in a circle, doing the twist and walking back. There was also an interpretive dance about Ezekiel and the Dry Bones which was pretty cool. The accordion also made it's all-school debut (though not played by your most handsome and charming of authors).

So that's that. Things are hectic with getting grades done but it should be over and done with Wednesday.

Oh, almost forgot, I'm working on a thermit reaction to show my grade tens. If I end up not posting for a Becky-length you can assume the worst and I've done what all great chemists do.... dissolve into solution.




And so I'll leave you with these. A friend of mine was emailing them to me to try and stump me to no avail. See if you can work them out. No cheating. Answers when and if I return:


1
Zona, the nutty professor, gathered the class one day for an experiment. Zona began, "I have in my hands a rock and a piece of wood. I am going to place them in this beaker of mysterious liquid, and you may observe what happens." Surprisingly, the rock floated and the wood sank! He turned to the class and said, "My question is: What is this mysterious liquid in the beaker?"

[This one creeped me out because I actually had a weird instructor for Organic Lab I named Zona.]

2
Which of the following atomic elements does not belong in the following list?

Carbon, Neon, Silicon, Phosphorus, Iodine, Xenon

Florence Flask was preparing for a night at the opera when all of a sudden she exclaimed,

"Erlenmeyer! My Joules! Someone has stolen my Joules!"

To which her husband replied,

"Calm down my dear, do not overreact. I'm sure we will find a solution!"

Let's play a game...

Which Captain America villain am I impersonating?







ps- I think I may have found my calling. I'll post details later if I don't get bored of it by then.

A weekend in India and then some

Good footwear is very important in India, especially when you live in the hills. Something comfortable is an absolute must but it should also have good ankle support, toe protection, and a sturdy sole. Chappals (pronounced 'chup-puls') are none of these (well, except for comfortable).

Chappals are basically flip flops.
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You should NEVER wear chappals into the bazaar. I have three wounds like this. It was such a nice, warm day though that I couldn't resist. I knew that as soon as I hit the road I was going to regret wearing them this day. Alas, live and learn.

Cindy especially has been bugging me about who this person 'T' is whom I keep referring to on the blog. Well, this is an especially candid photo of him.

This is more often what you get.

The two pictures above of T were taken at the new Clock Tower Cafe (CTC for short). It just opened this semester and caters specifically to Woodstockers and western tastes. It's a nice hang out but a tad small. We actually had to crash a table of ninth graders in order to get a seat. The food's good, not terribly expensive and the atmosphere is great. I do still love the Tavern though. (I'll have to get a video of a night out there sometime.) We went down to the book depot and I picked up a copy of The Hobbit and The Koran for some light reading. I also managed to find some true pipe tobacco in the bazaar so Cindy, you don't need to worry about what's in my pipe anymore. It's slightly aromatic, has a good smell and a good taste but it bites the tongue like the time I poured all the remnants of a sour skittles bag on my tongue at once.

Later that night was the student talent show. I wasn't really wanting to go because the auditorium is right down the hall from the science office and I heard the kids practicing everyday after school for about two weeks. Let's just say that I knew already what was good and what wasn't. However, I did promise some students that I would go see them. It's only fair since they HAD to come to the staff talent show. I just knew that I was going to be subjecting myself to more screaming than performance.

It was a pretty enough evening when I set out.

There was dancing...

break dancing...

and back up dancing...

The girl singing was actually amazing... Some people were convinced that she was lip-syncing but just knowing the girl... I don't think she would do that.

A group of grade 11s did a rendition of Toto's 'Africa.' I don't know what else to say about it... it was interesting. I was waiting for them to go into the less well known but infinitely better Toto song, 'Rosanna.'

Ahh... Senior boys... They were like a pack of wolves, or more accurately, Statler and Waldorf. They hung out in the balcony in a large group and screamed as much and as loud as the girls. It wasn't so much heckling as just being rowdy boys. Bless 'em.

The week has been good enough to me. Things went off without much of a hitch. I've finally gotten myself caught up for grading, now I just need to work on the planning part. All in due time. I ended up catching a cold that's been going around, been a little achy and stuffed up but that's about it. It should pass soon enough.

I also finally got my Christmas package. It sat in Delhi for almost a month but everything arrived intact (well, except for the box... but I've yet to receive one that hasn't been crushed or torn apart). Wrapping them was kind of a moot point though... everything had been opened by customs. I guess they wanted to make sure I really did have the original Star Wars trilogy (with no stupid redos... Damn you George Lucas), a new copy of Zorba: The Greek, and a red sweater. Oh well, at least it's here.

Also, on this Wednesday we had a get together of the men on campus. We decided that we needed to get a night to go out and have a few drinks, talk about power tools and sniff each other's farts. We ended up with four dudes and one eunuch... but we take what we can get. It was a great time full of beer, food, and bad mic checks.

Lastly, I know I said that if you wanted to see me in these two years you would have to come to India... Well, I caved. I was looking for some places to do some professional development for chemistry. Unfortunately, there was nothing to be had abroad (I was hoping someplace like Thailand) but I did find a class at IC just a block away from home. So, for about a month from late June until mid-July I'll be in the south-central Illinois region. I'll try making a trip up to Bloomington-Normal one weekend so if you'll be in the area, we should get together.

Statler: Do you know what my favorite part about that post was?
Waldorf: No. What?
Statler: THE ENDING!
Both: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Holi

Today was Holi, an interesting holiday. Basically, it's a Hindu holiday that's also known as the festival of colors. That's about all I know about it. Well, that and the fact that you throw colors at each other. If you're that interested you can google it. I'll just let the pictures talk.

Mother and daughter from school. They're a lot of fun.

The French teacher and I.

Can words even describe?

These two aren't very good at that 'wear makeup like you're not' thing.

Hail! Hail! The gang's all here... or most of them anyway.


And the aftermath:

So, it was a good time. I got a little bit earlier today in class as well. I let the grade twelves put some yellow on my face. It was fun until it kept flaking off into my lunch.

In other news, we have a monkey problem here at school. They wander the trails and buildings and generally harass staff and students alike. School decided to do something about it and hired a crew of languorwallahs. These are guys who walk around with languor monkeys on a leash. The monkey basically sits there and marks it territory and pisses off the other monkeys into leaving. I haven't been able to get a picture yet, but I'm trying. The funny thing is that I always think of mom when I see them. Something about monkeys and leashes...

I gave devotions today to the tenth graders. I enjoy doing it. Mainly because I can talk about these really bizarre topics and then tie it in at the end with something. The kids think it's ridiculous and all but they have fun. Today's topic was comic books. I basically talked bout how super heroes are in the position to do the right thing even if they're not loved or even looked down upon by (like Batman or Spiderman). I tied it in by saying that we have the power and responsibility to stop things like bullying or name calling. It was hammy but I think the kids got it and thought it was fun.

Oh my stars and garters...

I like looking at the Feedjit live feed to see where the people who view my blog are from and just how they got here. Most are people I know, family, friends, Wade. Others come via the WS website. Others still, and I find these the most intriguing, come from random google searches (my favourite still being that I'm in the top 10 for reasons as to why India sucks, though this may displace it). The one I saw tonight was some blog feed from Hong Kong about sex. I figured it out that in one of my HK posts I talked about determining the sex of a horse and that must be how I'm suddenly linked to Filipino prostitutes and the world's first 3d sex film.

Oh blog, of all the things you have shown me and brought to my attention. You are truly an eye opener.