16 May, 2009

Opening a bag of chips in India

The title says it all. You wouldn't think it would be all that difficult to open a bag of chips would you? Well, little do you know that India is a tough place to live in. Even the bags of chips put up some front to make things more difficult for you.

Bag o' chips. For those of you who don't know, you can't eat the actual bag of chips. First you must open it, peel away the outer shell to get at the chippy goodness within. Think of it as the peel of an apple or rind of a melon that protects to stuff inside and keeps it tasty.

Oh, and what's this? I've always found it fascinating that here in India the energy in a food is measured in kilocalories (that's 1000 calories for you non-metric friendly folks). Now, to be honest, there is no difference between a kilocalorie here and a Calorie back home. For those of you who didn't pay attention in chemistry class during calorimetry, 1 kilocalorie = 1000 calories and 1 Calorie = 1000 calories. It's all in that capital C. Why they did it I can't rightly say, but I like to think that there were a couple of chemists back in the day who liked to screw with people's heads (more so than usual).

Anywho, I digress. Let's check out this bag o' chips.

Holy poop! I've seen plenty of bags of chips in my day but none of them were ever as puffed out as this one. Obviously, some bacteria has gotten into my bag o' chips and is producing gas that is puffing up the bag. That... or CHEMISTRY! You may recall that I live in Mussoorie, 'the queen of the hills.' You may also recall that I'm about 6000ft above sea level. The air is certainly a little thin up here and the pressure sure is less (it's like a weight being lifted off your shoulders (not really)). So, let's take a look, this bag was manufactured in Punjab which is about 1200ft above sea level. The bag is sealed in Punjab and makes it's way up to Mussoorie where the pressure is lower. This means there are less gas molecules pushing on the outside of the bag. However, there is still the same amount of molecules inside pushing out. The difference in pressure causes the bag to swell up. The same can be seen in reverse if you boil a little bit of water in a soda can and quickly invert the can in a tub of cold water. Go ahead and try it to see what happens, I'll wait.











Wasn't that cool?

Oh bag o' chips, who knew you were so chock full of chemistry?

Again, I've digressed... onto opening the bag.

It can be quite tricky if you've never done it before at such high elevations. I suggest thoroughly inspecting the bag and getting to know every nook and cranny.

Now, your first instinct might be 'Heck, I've opened bas of chips before. Grab either side and pull.' Right, remember all that extra pressure inside? Do that and it gets released in a fury of potato passion and what you've really done is create a potato claymore. If you prefer to eat your chips rather than have them embedded in your torso I suggest doing it another way.

'How about crushing the bag then?' You might say. No, that's just stupid. Don't do that either.

Instead, firmly grasp the top of the bag with the thumb and first finger of both hands. Simultaneously, pull one hand back towards you and push the other forward, away from you.

Don't be a weenie, just do it.

They are very strong bags here in India.

Success! The bag has been ripped slightly to release the gas inside. Now the crunchy loveliness inside can be had.

Continue to peel the bag until the hole is large enough for you hands to fit inside.

Ta. Da.

You know, that was actually quite easy.




Enjoy your chips. I know you're jealous that I'm eating them and you're not. MMMMMMM tastes SOOO good.

6 comments:

maggie said...

Pants-peeing funny. Thanks, James.

Now I'm craving potato chips. Great!

Kathryn said...

Oh, I miss you James. That was an excellent way to waste my plan period.

Becky said...

God I love you, and this post makes me miss you even more than before I read it.

Can't wait to see you!

Unknown said...

Dude, you crack me up.

Malary said...

Haha.
Thats what I've been missing here. People here are too uptight to handle proper comedy.

Garry said...

awesome and funny! outstanding!