By the numbers

It's 10 o'clock on Monday night and I can't be bothered to post pictures and whatnot in order to regale you with. I don't feel like working on anything and my brain just feels blah. So,

1- The number of new nieces I have recently acquired in the past week. The poor thing's been nicknamed 'Izzy-Butt' for a few months now. Her life's gonna be hell for sure.

2- Months until I get to meet aforementioned niece. Hopefully she is out of the gooey pink alien stage by then.

3- Inches of solid paper I need to grade and input into the gradebook.

78- The number of kids I have approximately 3 weeks to prepare for a buttload of external exams. (I'm thinking that a buttload should be assigned a number so it can be quantified. Something like how a dozen is 12 or a mole is 6.022 x 10^23 of something. Just a thought.)

3-4 - The number of comics from Mike's latest shipment that I manage to read per day. (Thanks for keeping me a nerd.)

0- Number of new, bad chemistry jokes I've managed to find lately. We were doing functional groups in AP chem today and I told one of the girls to name the following: Bunny - O - Bunny. She didn't get it. It took a few minutes before someone shouted out "Ether Bunny!" There were a few chuckles, more groans, and one girl pipes up to say (in all seriousness), "No! It should be Dibunny Ether!" Then I just got a bunch of complaints for a stupid joke. Sometimes I think I'm teaching soulless robots with no senses of humor. *sigh*

10 - The grade that still appreciate a good, lame chemistry joke. A proton walks into a pub and sits down promptly at the bar and orders a double whiskey, straight, no ice. The bartender obliges and notices the dark rings around the protons eyes. His clothes are shabby, as if they haven't been changed in days, his face is lined with worry and strain. He smells of booze and may have even soiled himself. With pity the bartender asks him what's the matter. After drawing in a long breath and exhaling a woeful sigh the proton replies, "Well, it all started a few days ago when I lost my electron..." The bartender, in a moment of exasperation and surprise, interrupts the proton, "Whoa, whoa, whoa that's pretty heavy stuff buddy! An electron?! Are you sure?!" "Yeah," says the proton, "I'm positive."






Ba dum dum

Two muffins are in an oven. One exclaims, "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here." To which the other replies, "Ah! A talking muffin!"

The final quarter started this week. I'm exhausted already. Definitely needed a longer break. Oh well, I have a new box of comics thanks to Mike and it makes for some nice relaxation.

We had parent teacher conferences on Tuesday. It's probably the one day all semester I dread the most. The parents of good students are easy to talk to. Just tell them the kid is doing great and is a wonderful student to have and they'll go merrily on their way. It's figuring out how to tactfully tell some parents that their children are little twerps that puts me on edge. I made it through the day without any parents screaming at me so I'll count it as a success. At lunch I was sitting with the parents of one of my advisees and was chatting with the father. He eventually asked me where I was from and I said 'Four hours from Chicago' like I usually do. He then asked what state and I of course replied 'Illinois.' He then proceeded to tell me that he did his undergrad work in Illinois. It was some little hole of a town named Jacksonville. He went to Mac many moons ago and we were able to bond over the little about the town that he still remembered. I think Woodstock has made more odd connections like this than I can shake a bag of chips at (and believe me, I'm a good chip bag shaker).

In other news, I finally heard back from the jamboree selection committee today. I have been accepted to work in the international hosting division. What exactly, I don't know yet. There are three subdivisions so I can either be doing activities, grunt work (picking int'ls up at the airport etc.), or a sort of commissioner. I'm sure I'll find out in due time. I'm just really excited b/c I love working with international people and this jamboree is during the 100th year of BSA so it's being really hyped up. Dad's going too but he's doing some shooting sports stuff so I doubt we'll see much of each other.

3 quarters down

For as much crap as I gave Becky for not updating her blog I suppose I should at least try to do the same for you, my adoring audience.

Currently, we are in the final week of the third quarter. Break starts on Thursday after a shortened schedule. I am going to Haridwar and Rajaji with one of the dorm parents. We're taking a group of boys with us to get them away for a few days. He's planned it so I really don't know what we're doing or anything so it should be fun. I'll be sure and take lots of pictures to share. We'll be coming back on Easter.

Speaking of Easter, we had our Easter chapel this past Sunday. We had it early so that people could be gone on their break and not have to come back to school early. I was lucky enough to be selected as a dancer for a portion of it. It mainly consisted of me walking up to the stage with a third grader, twirling a ribbon, marching in a circle, doing the twist and walking back. There was also an interpretive dance about Ezekiel and the Dry Bones which was pretty cool. The accordion also made it's all-school debut (though not played by your most handsome and charming of authors).

So that's that. Things are hectic with getting grades done but it should be over and done with Wednesday.

Oh, almost forgot, I'm working on a thermit reaction to show my grade tens. If I end up not posting for a Becky-length you can assume the worst and I've done what all great chemists do.... dissolve into solution.




And so I'll leave you with these. A friend of mine was emailing them to me to try and stump me to no avail. See if you can work them out. No cheating. Answers when and if I return:


1
Zona, the nutty professor, gathered the class one day for an experiment. Zona began, "I have in my hands a rock and a piece of wood. I am going to place them in this beaker of mysterious liquid, and you may observe what happens." Surprisingly, the rock floated and the wood sank! He turned to the class and said, "My question is: What is this mysterious liquid in the beaker?"

[This one creeped me out because I actually had a weird instructor for Organic Lab I named Zona.]

2
Which of the following atomic elements does not belong in the following list?

Carbon, Neon, Silicon, Phosphorus, Iodine, Xenon

Florence Flask was preparing for a night at the opera when all of a sudden she exclaimed,

"Erlenmeyer! My Joules! Someone has stolen my Joules!"

To which her husband replied,

"Calm down my dear, do not overreact. I'm sure we will find a solution!"